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San Bernardino County Single Mother Assistance Article
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SINGLE MOTHERS DATINGfrom:
It seems everybody has an opinion about single mothers dating, especially the kids. Some good advice for single mothers who plan on jumping back into the world of dating is that is it not necessary to introduce your children to every man you go out with. In fact, it might be better to wait until you are comfortable in your relationship with a man before introducing him to your children. Children will feel more comfortable with a man that their mother is comfortable with.
For single mothers, dating rules should always include honesty with children. However, honesty does not mean that children have a right to know all the details of their motherís private lives. If a single mother does not feel comfortable discussing whether or not she plans to have extramarital sex with her children, then she should simply not discuss it with them.
Single mothers dating should not take away from the time they spend with their children. Sometimes it will be more important to attend a childís school play than to spend an evening with a new boyfriend. However, the children should not be used as an excuse to avoid the intimacy of dating.
Children will often show resistance to their single motherís dating. The child may not have a problem with the man in their motherís life but with the simple fact that they now have to share their mother with someone new. Single mothers should be aware that it is important for them to have adult relationships outside of the family. This is a healthy and natural thing for children to witness and can provide them with an example of how you expect them to behave when they are of dating age.
Single mothers dating often feel as though they are second class goods because they come with a ready-made family. This, of course, could not be further from the truth. While it is true that there are many men who do not want to date someone with children, there are just as many men who have no problem dating single mothers. Single mothers dating should demand the same respect for themselves that they would want their daughters to demand from their boyfriends.
Single mothers dating should not expect the new men in their lives to become a parenting helper too soon in the relationship. Not only could this be uncomfortable for the man, it could also be very uncomfortable for the children. It is best to wait until the new man and the children have shown that they are truly comfortable together. When the new man offers to help with basketball practice or other parenting duties, and the children show acceptance of his involvement, then itís time to go ahead and allow him to take a bigger role in the familyís life.
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