Making dreams come true is a little bit like the process of having a child. Sometimes it is easy and things go smoothly, but that is rare and usually only in someone’s fantasy.
I remember when I was in labor with my youngest child. We were getting ready for bed and my water broke. We called the friend who was going to stay with our oldest son.
It was a long night, but I was doing okay. By noon the next day I wanted pain meds. I needed pain meds. The physician informed me I was doing fine and I didn’t need pain meds. I explained that just because I wasn’t screaming my head off didn’t mean I didn’t need pain relief.
Life Was Not Going as Planned
She said that the baby was in distress and couldn’t handle pain med, because he was already fighting for his life and if he couldn’t handle them I wouldn’t be getting any.
I wasn’t happy about it, but I understood and of course I agreed.
I still had several hours to go before that baby was born. How did I survive getting through labor and delivery of a 9 pound 6 oz. baby with no pain medication? My focused narrowed to focusing on what I had to do each minute. Get through the contraction. Rest for a minute or so. Breathe through the contraction. Relax for a minute and so it went for hours.
Process of Reaching Your Goals
When you have a big goal you are working on that will be a major transition in your life the process to be successful is a little bit like how I made it through labor. You don’t focus on all the things. I didn’t worry about what was happening at work or how messy my house was or what I’d make for dinner. I just focused on what I needed to do in that moment.
When we are focusing on all of the things too often we are getting nothing done. To be successful you need to stay focused on 1-3 goals at a time. Planning 3 months at a time helps me narrow my focus. Pick the one to 3 things to focus on for the next 3 months. Everything else goes on the list for later.
Once you’ve identified what you want to make happen break it down into smaller steps. Once you have those smaller steps focus on an activity you can do daily or at least several times per week to reach that goal.
Now decide how long you are going to work the plan and stay the course. Set a date to evaluate if these new habits are working for you. If they are celebrated by taking some time for self-care. The plan is kinda working figure out how to adjust your plan. If the plan is not working at all let go of it and try something different.
You don’t transform your life by wishing and hoping. You transform your life by taking small consistent action. Just like I would have had an even harder time getting through labor if I’d been thinking about all the hours I had ahead of me.
I stayed focused on what I had to do at that moment.
It is hard to make a major change and reach big goals like getting a degree, buying a house, raising a child, or building a business.
Even though it is hard it is doable when you prioritize those goals, break them down into doable steps and figure out the habits that will support you in achieving your goal.
What else helps you reach your goal? A mentor and a community of support. If you want more tips on productivity and reaching your goals follow me on Instagram @tamara.mason.coach. Message me on Instagram and tell me the transformation that will happen in your life when you achieve your goals.
Hi, I’m Tamara the creator of Empowered Single Moms, a single mom, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LICSW) and the author of Thriving a Single Mom’s Guide to a Happy, Positive Life and Thriving a Single Mom Journal. I have a solo private psychotherapy practice where I treat anxiety, depression, and relationship issues.
As a member of the Empowered Single Moms community, I believe you can stop carrying the weight of the world alone and build a life you love. Join my mailing list and get 5 Keys to Single Mom Success.