After a divorce or breakup is a great time to make a bucket list to get back in touch with yourself and who you are as a single person.
When you are part of a couple you give up a little bit of your individuality it’s time to reclaim yourself. Wondering what to do after your divorce to get started on your new life. Try these ideas.
Being a single mom is not what you planned for your life. Your plan A is not going to happen. It is time to figure out who you are now. Get started making plan B for your life.
First clear out the space the other person has been taking up in your life, home and heart. Then start building a new life. Here are my bucket list ideas in random order. I hope they inspire you to let go, move on and build a new life.
- Clean the house of your ex’s stuff. This is a great start in decluttering.
Get control of your money, make a budget
Get your own checking account, savings account, and major credit card you need your own credit history
- Close or get his name off of all loans, bank accounts, and credit cards
Go ahead have a good cry it is a great way to let go of your ex
- Unfriend/Unfollow him on social media.
- Change all your passwords. You don’t want him to access your bank accounts, credit cards or social media accounts.
- Get rid of the food you bought for him you don’t really like.
- Get a good vibrator and use it. This helps stay away from all the wrong men.
Work with a psychotherapist or life coach Divorce is so hard. Having someone who will listen and guide you makes the process so much easier.
- Get a massage
- Make a breakup playlist
- Make a list of places you’d like to travel to
Get a passport if you don’t have one, you won’t leave the country without it
- Look at your list of places and pick a place. Take a trip by yourself. All alone. If this is really scary for you, start with a long weekend. Not you and the kids just you.
- Take the kids on a family vacation, just you and them.
Assess your career options, do you need to get a different degree, upgrade your skills, make a plan to learn what you need to know or the credentials you need to do what you want to do.
- Buy your own home. This is unbelievably empowering. Get a home you want. My ex would not have wanted to live in the house I bought, but it was perfect for the kids and me. They picked out the colors for their bedrooms and had a fantastic time helping paint their own rooms. It really made the house feel like their home.
- Do a home fix-it project. I really don’t like doing these at all, but there are things I can do now that were always his job. YouTube is a great place to learn almost anything.
- Get yourself flowers, exactly the kind you like.
Get in shape, if there is one good thing about divorce most people lose weight. Take advantage of this time to set up an exercise plan and stick to it. Exercise is great at reducing anxiety and getting rid of depression.
- Journal, it is a great way to get to know yourself
- Eat popcorn or ice cream for dinner, something you would never serve the kids for dinner.
- Have something you love, but no one else would eat for dinner, one of my things is homemade tomato soup (kids can’t stand tomatoes unless they are made into ketchup, spaghetti sauce or pizza sauce)
Connect with other single moms, Empowered Single Mom Tribe is a great place to give and receive support and encouragement. Getting divorced or breaking up with your kids’ dad can be sad and lonely be intentional about connecting with other people, especially women.
- Reach out to an old friend you’ve lost touch with while you were part of a couple
- Make some new friends
- Get new sheets and a new comforter or duvet cover. Get something you want. You don’t have to consult anyone else.
- Watch what you want on TV one of the advantages to having the house to yourself when the kids are with their dad.
Read a book another thing to do when the kids are with their dad.
- Change your hairstyle, cut it, perm it, straighten it or color it, it is so cliche, but it feels good new you new style.
- Make a dating profile. Wait to make it public until you have healed.
Forgive him, not for him for you.
Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
34. Make a list of positive affirmations on sticky notes and put them on your mirror and refrigerator.
35. Now make a list of all the thing you want to do in your life. And get started making them happen
You are free to rediscover and reinvent yourself. You will have hard days, sad days, lonely days. But the hard days will get further apart and the good days more often. It will get better You can do this!
Failure is not an option. Keep putting one foot in front of another and you will be able to build a beautiful satisfying life. Or give up and wallow in dispair. The choice is yours, so keep going and one day you will be amazed and proud of how far you have come.
If you need inspiration to make your own bucket list this book has a lot of fun ideas to get you started.
Hi, I’m Tamara the creator of Empowered Single Moms, a single mom, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LICSW) and the author of Thriving a Single Mom’s Guide to a Happy, Positive Life and Thriving a Single Mom Journal. I have a solo private psychotherapy practice where I treat anxiety, depression, and relationship issues.
As a member of the Empowered Single Moms community, I believe you can stop carrying the weight of the world alone and build a life you love. Join my mailing list and get 5 Keys to Single Mom Success.
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