There are different philosophies on setting up house rules for kids. I am all for simplicity. It took me awhile, but I finally figured out the best house rules. I figured out by the time my kids were teens I only needed two house rules for teenagers. The first one is definitely the most important.

Efficiency is the Key 

Running the household as a single parent was overwhelming. I was struggling to balance work, parenting and the mundane chores of laundry, cooking, cleaning and home repair. I needed more time and more energy. The frequent minor power struggles over household rules were exhausting. I had to think of something to make my life easier.

One night it hit me. We only really needed one house rule, maybe two. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of this before. It is important to have few rules, but the ones you have need to be enforced consistently. I have seen so many problems happen in families and in kids lives when parents say one thing and do another, but those stories will need to wait for another day.

Let’s get to the most important of house rules for kids and especially teenagers.

Best House Rule Ever

The most important of the house rules for teenagers and really all kids is “Respect the Mother.” We then had a discussion about what it means to respect the mother. This rule sounds simple and it is, but it covers a lot of behavior when you think about it.

Don’t Cause Worry

It is my nature and the nature of most mothers to worry about our children. That means a mom needs to know where her kids are, what they are doing, who they are with, and at whose house they’re scheduled to sleep. Back when phones could be set up with quick texts, my son put one in my phone that said simply “status.” If my kids got that text it meant I needed to know where you are, what you are doing, and who you are with. It’s a simple request and not overly intrusive for independent teens. It’s also a subtle reminder “What would your mother think, if she could see you now.”

Respecting the mother also means pitching in and helping. We were never in a position to have

a household cook or cleaner. This is the case for most families raising children with one parent in the home (and most with two parents in the home). We talked about how, as family members, we do what needs to be done. Everyone pitches in to do the work.

Mom is not another word for servant. The expectation was to do what needed to be done, and get “bonus points”(a pat on the back and a word of appreciation) for noticing what needed to be done and doing it without being asked

Variation on the Most Important of House Rules for Teenagers:  Be Nice to the Mother