Inside: What is self worth? How to claim your self worth. Recognize the signs of low self esteem. Learn how to become the confident woman you are meant to be.
My heart is breaking. I talked to a woman today and it made me cry. Her partner is abusing her emotionally and ridiculing her at every turn.
She is afraid to leave him. She is afraid she will not be able to make it without him.
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What Lack of Self Worth Looks Like
There is so much pain in the world and so many women who allow or even teach people, especially men to treat them as less than. Less than an equal. Less than she deserves. Less than the brilliant woman she is. I want better for you.
It breaks my heart that the person who you were closest to, the man who was to be your partner, to have your back, to be there for you through better or worse, sickness and health, richer or poorer has caused you so much pain.
Make it stop!! Take control of your life.
He wasn’t hitting her, but he is emotionally abusive and mean. I am not an advocate for divorce. A good and healthy marriage is life-giving & life-affirming.
On the other hand, a relationship where you are constantly treated as less than.……… where you lose your self worth, where your self-esteem is stolen from you or worse yet given away is hell on earth. It breaks my heart.
Claim Your Self Worth, Stop Accepting Less
Women are equals. They deserve respect. Women are to be loved, honored and cherished in a relationship and in life, just like men are to be respected, honored and cherished.
As women, we need to stop accepting less. Stop expecting less. I want you to be the strong confident woman you are meant to be. I want you to have high self-esteem and high self worth.
You are not an object or a possession for a man to use and push around. Stop accepting less than you deserve.
Expect others to do their share around the house and yes that includes giving kids chores.
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What is self worth and why you need it
Self worth is a sense of your own value. If you value yourself you will have self-respect. You will have confidence and it will empower you to feel true joy.
It will empower you to be your best self not only for you but for your children and the rest of the world.
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Why do women allow men to steal their self-esteen?
When women feel dependent on men to financially provide for their basic needs and feel unable to provide shelter and food for themselves and their children they are vulnerable to tolerate mistreatment.
As women, we define who we are in part by our relationships and who we are in relationships with. Often as women, we mistakenly believe it is better to be in a bad relationship than no relationship at all. Some women feel like less of a woman without a man by her side.
Related: Making New Friends After Divorce is Part of the Adventure
How to Deal with Loneliness After Divorce
Sometimes childhood abuse instills a belief that as a woman you are an object to be used. This is a false and irrational belief if you believe this seek out a therapist to heal from this false belief that is stealing your joy and your ability to be who you are meant to be.
Sometimes messages from society and sadly some churches tell women they are less than equals. Much of culture objectifies women. That hurts and devalues all people, men, and women.
The rate of rape and childhood sexual abuse is staggering and heartbreaking. These horrible acts are crimes of violence against a woman’s spirit and soul. They steal a woman’s confidence and self worth.
If this has happened to you, don’t let it define who you are. Get the help you need from a trained therapist to change how these crimes affect you.
Signs of low self-esteem in women
- Social isolation
- Feeling less than others
- Expecting little out of life for yourself.
- Lack self-confidence
- Eating disorders
- Inability to accept compliments
- Lack of assertiveness
- Exaggerated concern over what other people think
- Sexual promiscuity, especially in women
- Putting your needs behind other’s wants
- Being a people pleaser
- Reluctance to take on challenges
- Not trusting your own opinion
Claim your self worth and raise your self-esteem
When you have self worth you know you are a person of value own it. If you believe in a creator God, God created you which makes you a person of value.
You are responsible for your happiness, self worth self-esteem. Don’t trust that job to another person.
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Neither are you responsible for someone else’s happiness. Their happiness is not a measure of your worth. Their happiness is their responsibility.
Related: How to Make a Your Own Self Care Plan When You Don’t Have Time for Self Care
How to become a confident woman
Own your value. Claim your talents. Own our skills. You are a sacred being and deserve respect an honor. Accept nothing less and give nothing less.
Be intentional about noticing what you are good at. Notice skills you are improving.
Are you good at aspects of your job? Are their parts of being a mother that you excel at? Do you have a musical or artistic talent? Are you a good listener? a good friend?
Practice the following skills:
- Accepting compliments graciously
- Optimism/expecting good things to happen
- A sense of peacefulness and calm
- Assertiveness (not aggression)
- Giving your needs the same priority as the needs of others
- Build a strong support system
- Willingness to learn and try new healthy activities
- Self-care that includes healthy eating, enough sleep, and exercise
Related: 15 Habits to Improve Your Life
When you have self-worth it frees you to be your best self. You are happier and the world gets your best self. Think of how fantastic the world would be if everyone was living their best life as their best self.
Hi, I’m Tamara the creator of Empowered Single Moms, a single mom, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LICSW) and the author of Thriving a Single Mom’s Guide to a Happy, Positive Life and Thriving a Single Mom Journal. I have a solo private psychotherapy practice where I treat anxiety, depression, and relationship issues.
As a member of the Empowered Single Moms community, I believe you can stop carrying the weight of the world alone and build a life you love. Join my mailing list and get 5 Keys to Single Mom Success.
Great post! I once read that there is a reason some of the most important words start with “self”…e;g; self worth, self-love, self-esteem, self-care…and that is because no-one else can do it for you, you have to do it yourself. Safeguarding your self-worth really is crucial for your happiness. Thanks for the reminder.
empowerd single moms
Darlene, I am glad you enjoyed it.
So much good information here. I went through a time when I needed to look at my role as a woman and
believe I was doing all the right things. Sometimes, we must need backup. Sometimes, we forget how strong we really are. This post has gems to help others.
empowerd single moms
Beth, Thank-you so much for your kind words.